Hello Marvista families!
Throughout the past month, I have been doing lessons in almost every class around being assertive. This is a communication style that is most effective when advocating for what we want or need in life, as it demonstrates confidence and respect at the same time. We want our kids to all find their voices! Whether it is asking a group to play at recess, inviting a friend over for a play date, telling another student to stop doing something harmful/annoying, or asking an adult for help with something, there are many opportunities to practice being assertive. Now there are times to be aggressive or passive (the other 2 communication styles), though most of the time being assertive is much more effective.
As I mentioned, I have been going into classrooms throughout the school lately to share strategies for being assertive (like an elephant, ask your student about the other animals too), and I encourage practicing with your students at home as well. It will help them when the time comes to communicate clearly what they need or want.
Here are four skills to practice:
- Face the person you’re talking to
- Keep your head up and shoulders back
- Use a calm, firm voice
- Use respectful words
Now for some scenarios to practice with your student(s): (Tip: some students find it helpful to practice in front of a mirror or with stuffed animals before practicing with people.)
- Assertively ask a store clerk for help finding your favorite cereal.
- You are having trouble understanding a test question. Assertively ask your teacher to clarify what it means.
- Somebody tries to push in front of you to get on the bus. Assertively tell the person to go to the back of the line.
- There is a new girl in your class. Your friend is saying mean things about the way she dresses. Assertively tell your friend to stop saying mean things.
- There is a group of kids playing soccer that you want to join. Assertively ask to play.
Feel free to come up with your own scenarios too, or ask your student what situations he/she is most uncomfortable being assertive in and practice! I imagine we all have had moments in our lives when we wished we had been more assertive. Let’s all work together to teach the next generation to find their voices!
Warm Regards,
Andrew Ritsema
School Counselor
Marvista Elementary School
206-631-4200
Andrew.ritsema@highlineschools.org
Click for counselor website